A Guide to Condolence Flowers in Asian Cultures

Expressing sympathy through flowers is a deeply meaningful tradition across Asia, but the symbolism, colors, and customs vary significantly between cultures. Understanding these differences is essential for showing respect during times of grief.

Chinese Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White chrysanthemums are the most traditional choice, symbolizing grief and lamentation
• White lilies represent the restored innocence of the soul
• White roses convey reverence and humility
• Yellow chrysanthemums are also acceptable

Colors to Use: White is the primary color of mourning in Chinese culture. Pale yellow flowers are also appropriate.

Flowers to Avoid:

• Red flowers (associated with joy and celebration)
• Bright, vibrant colors
• Gifts in sets of four (the number sounds like “death” in Chinese)

Additional Customs: Flowers are typically sent to the funeral home rather than the family’s residence. Odd numbers of flowers are preferred, except for the unlucky number four.

Japanese Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White chrysanthemums are deeply associated with death and the imperial family
• White lilies symbolize purity of the departed soul
• Lotuses represent the cycle of rebirth in Buddhist tradition
• White carnations show pure love and remembrance

Colors to Use: White and pale yellow are most appropriate. Simplicity and elegance are valued over elaborate arrangements.

Flowers to Avoid:

• Red flowers
• Camellias (they drop their heads suddenly, symbolizing sudden death)
• Highly fragrant flowers in enclosed spaces

Additional Customs: Incense is often more traditional than flowers at Buddhist funerals. If sending flowers, they should be delivered before the funeral service.

Korean Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White chrysanthemums are the standard mourning flower
• White lilies represent peace
• White roses show respect
• Carnations in white or yellow tones

Colors to Use: White is the predominant color of mourning. Simple, elegant arrangements are preferred.

Flowers to Avoid:

• Bright colors, especially red
• Overly elaborate or showy arrangements

Additional Customs: Wreaths and standing sprays are common at Korean funerals. Cash gifts in white envelopes are often more traditional than flowers, but flowers are still appreciated and appropriate.

Indian Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White lilies symbolize peace
• White roses represent reverence
• Marigolds (despite being bright) are sacred and used in Hindu rituals
• Jasmine for its purity and connection to spirituality
• Tuberose for funeral garlands

Colors to Use: White is most appropriate for most Indian communities. In Hindu traditions, marigolds in orange and yellow are also used for funeral garlands (mala).

Flowers to Avoid: Red roses (associated with romantic love)

Additional Customs: Customs vary significantly by religion (Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian). In Hindu and Sikh traditions, flower garlands are placed on or near the deceased. In Muslim traditions, flowers are generally less common. Consider the specific religious background when offering condolences.

Vietnamese Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White lilies are highly favored
• White chrysanthemums show grief
• White roses convey sympathy
• White gladiolus represents sincerity

Colors to Use: White is the traditional mourning color. Soft pastels may also be acceptable.

Flowers to Avoid:

• Red and bright colors
• Yellow flowers (can symbolize separation)

Additional Customs: Wreaths are common at Vietnamese funerals. The family typically wears white mourning clothes, and visitors should dress conservatively.

Thai Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White orchids are elegant and appropriate
• White lilies symbolize restored innocence
• White roses show respect
• Dok mai chan (funeral wreaths with fresh flowers)

Colors to Use: White and cream colors are most appropriate for Buddhist funerals.

Flowers to Avoid: Bright, cheerful colors

Additional Customs: Ornate funeral wreaths on stands are traditional. These often include the sender’s name on a ribbon. In Buddhist tradition, the focus is often on the impermanence of life.

Filipino Culture

Appropriate Flowers:

• White lilies are most common
• White roses show sympathy
• White chrysanthemums represent grief
• Gladiolus in white or pale colors
• Carnations in white

Colors to Use: White is traditional, but Filipino funeral customs (influenced by Spanish Catholicism) may be somewhat more flexible with pale colors.

Flowers to Avoid: Overly bright or festive arrangements

Additional Customs: Wreaths and standing sprays are common. Catholic influences mean flowers are often displayed throughout the wake period, which can last several days.

General Guidelines Across Asian Cultures

Universal Principles:

1. White is safest – White flowers are appropriate for mourning across virtually all Asian cultures
2. Simplicity over extravagance – Elegant, understated arrangements are generally more appropriate than elaborate displays
3. Avoid red – Red is associated with celebration, joy, and good fortune across most of Asia
4. Consider religious context – Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, and other faiths have different flower traditions
5. Timing matters – In some cultures, flowers should arrive before the funeral; in others, they can be sent to the family afterward

When in Doubt: If you’re uncertain about specific customs, white chrysanthemums or white lilies are safe choices across most Asian cultures. You might also consider reaching out to the funeral home or a culturally informed florist for guidance, or asking someone from the same cultural background for advice.

Expressing condolences is about showing respect and support during a difficult time. The thoughtfulness of your gesture matters more than perfection, but making an effort to honor cultural traditions demonstrates deep respect for the grieving family.